my husband is a workaholic, but does not admit?
Friday, June 26th, 2009
he works hard and passionately, also does all kinds of chores for his mother’s house, AC, yard, weed picking, fruit picking! travelling to Italy to settle land disputes, you name it he does it. but never any thing close to these for me. I get no attention, only when he wants sex (believe me I have tried all kinds of strategies nothing works).
we have gone to therapy. it took him a year just to open up to her and actually answer her questions about his childhood. so I know he has issues opening up. he has also been disciplined as a child with a (Italian) mother who is never satisfied. it seems that he keeps trying to prove himself to her or to his work. the first thing he does when he comes home from work or errands, is too go straight to bed and lie down or nap. because he is dead tired.
the problem is he never hears me out. we never get to the bottom of a discussion. he thinks I am not appreciative for not being happy for him to have eaten the dinner I cooked him!!! or gone out for a coffee last weekend!!!!
I am leaning towards divorce, but am so afraid that he will sweet talk me. he has done that time and again since we have been dating or during our marriage. Last night I was trying to get him to admit that he is a workaholic and has psychological problems with his mother and childhood, etc, and that he needs to seek counseling (personal and marriage). he brushed me off again with a “no that’s not true” kind of answer. I decided to sleep in the living room!!! (no spare bedroom) to start the one year separation period. of course that caught his attention.
As usual, he will be all worried and genuinely try to listen to me. it will only work for a month max, then back to his ways.
need advise.
splashdesign,.. I am the one who got him to go counseling and asking him to go now. our counselor was the one who discovered the problems deep within him that he does not want to admit. he stopped going to counseling then and he does not want to go now. he told me call your lawyer!!!
Joyjoy and Lisa- I have a job too, but know how to create balance. he doesn’t just have a job he is a “workaholic”. if you do a search, you will find that it is a psychological problem with specific symptoms, like feeling guilty when he is having fun or is away with me….
Joshua
